Goodbye, Paraguay

I am sitting in a hostel in Asunción, drinking beers with a few of my friends, and in complete disbelief that I just said goodbye to my community and in 2 days I will be back in the States. I have found that for me, saying goodbye is often easier when written in a poem (and performed as a rap – obviously). I did it for the Top Shelf when leaving the dorms freshman year of college, for Illini Water Polo my senior year, and for the volunteers in my training community at the end of training. I never write artistically outside of goodbyes, so I’m not sure what that means…. But when trying to figure out how to write my last blog post from Paraguay, my mind went yet again to prose. Here is my goodbye to Paraguay, my amazing community of San Pedro, and the incredible people I met along the way. The other poems were easier. This one was nearly impossible, and doesn’t do it justice. I mention only a fraction of the people who touched my life over the past 27 months. But I hope this will help you all understand just a little bit about how much this experience has meant to me.

I remember that feeling I felt on the plane

Knowing that once I landed nothing would ever be the same

27 months I dedicated myself to live

In a distant country with so much to give

27 seemed to be my lucky number

Because that same day I met 27 others

They became my family, the ones I depended on

G38 - what we have created is an incredible bond

The first 10 weeks were spent in a bubble

Language and culture training, giving us time to stumble

But at the end it was time for us to go our own ways

And in San Pedro, Misiones I was to spend the rest of my days

My first host family was the craziest of all

With 10 people in and out, time never stalled

I then lived with 4 families more

Each one after the next opened their door

The generosity didn’t stop when I moved on my own

And I came to realize that the people here were home grown

They didn’t have gadgets and gizmos to share

But they knew that a smile would show that they cared

The sunsets were the most beautiful I’ve seen

While the grass and the trees were the greenest of green

The campo landscape of wide open spaces

Who knew this country had such beautiful places

I grew to love my hammock and the tranquilopa style

Drinking tereré with families for quite awhile

Making chipa and enjoying all their amazing traditions

And getting myself into some awkward situations

Attempting to speak Guaraní at family parties

Dancing with drunk uncles, and creating stories

Playing pool in the evenings with some of my friends

Or coloring parties at my house that seemed like they’d never end

I was invited to birthdays and asados galore

All of which left me smiling deep down in my core

The people of Paraguay showed me what it means to be

Kind and generous and loving endlessly

My ‘job’ was just a small part of my story

Summer camps, charlas, and trying not to be boring

I like to think I made a tiny little dent

But what meant the most were times with families spent

Esperanza and Fatima were my go-to gals

With undying support, they became my best pals

Sixta was my second mom and always had my back

I knew I could go to her when I needed a good laugh

Auxi and Erika participated in everything I did

My absolute best students, some amazing kids

And Silvia, she was my partner in crime

Going on crazy adventures with me at the drop of a dime

Thiago gave the best high-fives around

While Jesica was the cutest 5 year old I found

Dulci was asking questions, ever curious

And when I wouldn’t let Dana color she would get all furious

Then there was Nancy who taught me how to cook

And her son, Angel, who could kill me with his looks

Ana Liz and Alfonsina were quiet and kind

While Nelson, Hector and Rodrigo were pranksters all the time

And who can forget my pup, la loquita Negri

Proving that 3^rd time’s the charm, happy as can be

And Matias, my Godson, perfect in every way you can

I can’t wait to watch him grow up into an incredible man

Those people are really just the beginning

If I were to list them all I would never stop writing

Each one of them made my service one-of-a-kind

Truly, the experience of a lifetime

While I don’t know when exactly I’ll visit again

Be it in 1 year, 5 years, or maybe 10

San Pedro has been my home from the start

This place and those people are forever in my heart

~~~~~~~~~

Here are some pictures from the going away party I had in my site last Saturday:

The Paraguayan band I hired to play

Dancing with Armin, my first host dad in site

Me and my favorites of San Pedro!

My neighbor volunteers and I with the band

My last  sunset in site! I'm going to miss the incredible beauty of my home.

What a ride it has been! In the words of Dr. Seuss, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”. See you all soon!

Beautiful.

We are getting down to the wire here, folks. I have exactly one month left in site. And while the ticking clock is starting to weigh heavy on my heart, it also is allowing me to reflect back on my time here in Paraguay. The other day I went through all my pictures from start to finish. It was fun to see how much my favorite kids have grown, how my friendships have developed, and how lucky I have been to live in Paraguay as well as to travel South America. In honor of the (just under) 27 months I will spend in Paraguay, here are 27 of my favorite pictures.

Love me those campo roads

Drinking terere with mi amiga :)

The Tajy tree in front of my casita

Prepping the tatakua

A Peruvian woman excited to see her friends

Relaxing on the beach in Punta del Diablo, Uruguay

Coloring party!

Arturo practicing the proper brushing technique at summer camp

Campo sunsets are my absolute favorites

Fresh hot chipa!

My amazing pup, Negri!

Spring flowers :)

G38 at Mid-Service Training

Love.

Angel's smile kills me every time

The beautiful chaos of my local store

Mooooooooooo!

Teenagers sharing an important message about HIV

Chanchito <3 

Making eco-brick benches with some grade schoolers!

Afternoon spent watching soccer

These kiddos are the absolute best

Preschool students on the last day of class

Ushuaia, Argentina

Campo storm!

Summertime bliss

Riding on an ox cart!

Lessons Learned

I recently got back from my Close of Service (COS) conference. COS is a time where you reunite with the group of volunteers you came to Paraguay with. It is an opportunity to reflect on the past two years, see how much we have all grown and start looking towards the future. From that conference, came this blog post.

Over the past 2 years, I have had more time on my hands to reflect on life then I ever imagined. I thought about EVERYTHING. What makes me happy, what I hate about the world, what really matters, what I want from my future, etc. People talk about the Peace Corps as a time of transformation for the volunteer, of finding out whom you really are. While I don’t know that all that much has changed about me, the things that I value most and are important have certainly become clearer. Here are some of my biggest realizations (in no particular order).

• What is generosity? In the states, I understood generosity as receiving something. $50 bucks for my birthday, free Cubs tickets, free drinks, a new iPod -- how generous! And while this is still certainly true (and all free Cubs tickets still welcome!), I also learned a new definition of the word. Generosity is extending your hand to someone even when your hand is empty. The people of Paraguay showed me true generosity in the form of opening up their homes and their hearts to me when they had nothing to give but themselves. Many of the families I spent the most time with barely had enough money to pay their electric bill, but that never stopped them from taking the time to talk and drink tereré with me, cook with me and show me their way of life. Their character and endless giving spirit even when times were tough is something I will always carry with me.

• What is the value of a simple hello? Stateside, I don’t even remember the names of all my neighbors. During college, I never took the time to get to know people in the apartment next to me and I was always too rushed at work to take the time to meet the people in other departments. Here, however, I learned the importance of saying hello. Of getting to know the people around you, since you will inevitably run into them at the local store or party. A Paraguayan woman could be cooking breakfast, milking a cow and washing clothes ALL at the same time, but if I passed by her house she would always, without fail, flash a smile and say hello. At first I thought it was weird saying hello to everyone I passed on the street, but in the end, I realized it was something that really made me comfortable in my site. No one was a stranger, and sometimes a simple hello turned into walking home with bags full fresh fruit or hot chipa and a great afternoon spent drinking tereré with friends. I’m not saying I’m going to come home and say hello to everyone I see at Starbucks and Walgreens, but I am certainly going to make a bigger effort to get to know the people I see most often.
• What do I really need to make me happy? I remember when I was the last of my friends to have an iPhone. I thought the fact that I still had a flip phone while everyone else was playing angry birds under their desk was the end of the world! Now, I couldn’t care less. Do I like nice things? Of course! But those aren’t necessarily the most important things to have. I learned that a beautiful day spent outside can be the best medicine. That surrounding yourself with people who really care about you (and not fretting about those who don’t) is the best thing you can do for your self-esteem. I learned that there are friends and family I have both stateside and here in Paraguay that will stay in my life forever. It is more important to surround yourself with the things that can’t be replaced, than to stress over having the latest technology or nicest pair of jeans. Because it’s those things – a beautiful day, time with friends, holidays with family – that make me the happiest.
  
• What is the importance of diversity – a lesson taught to me by my fellow PCVs. I came to Paraguay thinking I was totally open to everything. And while that remained mostly true, I realized how little I had actually been exposed to. I grew up in a wealthy suburb of Chicago. I went to a university where practically everyone I met was from Illinois. Sure, I met people who were different from me, but all of my closest friends back home are just like me. Then I came here, and met an incredible group of people. Some of my closest friends grew up in a different state, with a different socio-economic background, different ethnicities, different sexual orientations, etc. And while I learned that yes, I am an open person; I also have a lot to learn. And a lot of questions to ask. But I feel that I have learned so much from my friends here, and am so grateful for that. I now seek diversity, knowing that I become a better person when I surround myself with it.
  
• And last but certainly not least - Who am I, and am I okay with that person? You have some serious time throughout the Peace Corps to evaluate every damn aspect of your life. When things were good I was incredibly happy, while when things were bad I would spend hours in my house analyzing the situation and making myself feel worse. But if I learned anything, it’s that I am who I am, and I do, in fact, like that person. Do I make mistakes? Yes. Do I swear too much?  Yes. Sometimes drink too much? Yes. But I also like to think that I am kind, I learn from my mistakes, and that I take the time to get to know different people and different cultures. I try not to judge a book by its cover, and I am curious about the world. Learning to accept my whole self has been an incredible gift from my time here in Paraguay.

And so, from all the lessons I have learned, maybe I will come out of this whole Peace Corps experience a slightly better person than the one I came in as. While sometimes all the time I had on my hands was a curse, at least it allowed me to reflect of life and discover what I truly value. 

G38 and the Community Health Staff at COS Conference